dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me

ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer

his name is scooter

sadmermaid420:

Stopping mid sentence to announce that it’s 4:20

lubricates:

maybe if i ignore my homework for another hour it will get easier

bewbin:

Why is it called a building? Isn’t it done building? Shouldn’t it be called a built

irrreversibility:

boys cry
girls masturbate
boys can like pink and not be gay
girls can have short hair and not be a lesbian
boys can like ballet
girls can like video games
boys can be hot without a six pack
girls can be hot without a hairless body
boys can have hair down to their waists
girls can have stretch marks, curves and back fat

gender doesn’t determine what you can and cannot enjoy, what you can and cannot look like or what you can and cannot do

ekoenig:

*sunlight hits your laptop screen*

wow 

every piece of dust in the world

it’s here

virginitity:

how i seduce men

image

deucebasket:

threw a boomerang like 6 years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear

sceptre:

if you didnt take a picture of your starbucks did you really have starbucks

karkatosexual:

if magikarp can do nothing and then suddenly grow up to be really useful then so can i